Levels of the ESFJ
Ideal:
- Although they usually have a lot of friends and acquaintances, at this level they are able to have friends that differ in beliefs and values
- Genuinely warm and giving even if it’s not reciprocated on the other person’s end, the ESFJ will not be resentful
- Willingly helps others without any expectations but doesn’t neglect their own needs
- Doesn’t expect praise and recognition when they help- although it’s greatly appreciated
- Ability to address and handle conflict in a mature manner
- Works towards personal self-growth because they want to improve
- Open to listening to others viewpoints even if it does not align with their own
- Enjoys hosting parties and events
- Wants their family to be in a safe and happy/fun environment
- Takes time for self-care and doesn’t over-socialize because they don’t want to be alone
Medium:
- Giving and helpful but really wants to be recognized for their efforts
- May be more emotionally needy and switch moods easily
- Overly opinionated without regards for others
- Can fluctuate between being productive and not wanting to complete assignments – due to stress
- Can become emotionally flooded easily if things aren’t going their way or someone disagrees with their opinion
- Not as good with focusing on details unless it’s an area they enjoy
- Will begin to protect themselves if they feel people are encroaching on their values and beliefs – will have difficulty standing up for what they believe in
- Will begin to engage in unhealthy escape methods and will spiral out of control if not careful
Unhealthy: Can be prone to a personality disorder like borderline or some aspects of the narcissistic personality disorder; eating disorders (i.e. bulimia and binge eating); anxiety and depression.
- Prone to resentment, anger, and bitterness because they feel that people are taking advantage of them
- Expresses negative emotions through anger (yelling and screaming) or passive aggressive acts
- Threatens that no one cares or loves them and tries to give others a “guilt-trip”
- Insensitive to others needs but may be extremely needy themselves
- Controlling and wants things to go their way all the time
- Difficulty listening to others unless it serves their need or matches their viewpoints (like making them look better as a person or provides them with a source of income)
- Comfortable in their prejudices and does not care to work on their own personal issues
- Will tell white lies under stress to not have to deal with reality
- Can be very stubborn and resistant to positive change
- Will avoid their problems by using unhealthy escape methods