Love – Part I
This series on love is not for the faint of heart…. So if you enjoy your fairy-tale view of love and romance then please don’t read this because you most likely will be upset! If you wear your heart on your sleeve and want to keep it that way then please stop reading now!! I’m NOT joking…..
In college I was once asked to pick one word to describe myself, since I was put on the spot I blurted out, “love”! What a terrible answer for a 19-year old college student – what did I know about love? Fast forward a decade (and some) later I am still wondering about the real meaning of love. Now I would never use it to describe myself in one word despite the traditional INFJ profiles oozing with praises of being compassionate and caring…. Sure, we know how to connect with others – establish meaningful relationships, bonding through late night talks and volunteering at soup kitchens but embodying the meaning of love requires a lot more than saying one is compassionate and caring.
When you typically hear stories of love you read about fairy-tale endings, heart-wrenching tragedies involving mothers sacrificing their own lives to save their children, survivors forgiving abusers, etc. These are the feel-good stories that you can watch on Lifetime or the Hallmark channel; stories that are featured in growth and development books, spiritual guidance materials, and more.
Upon searching the definition of ‘love’ in the dictionary, it became clear why this word can be considered controversial and overly used. It is categorized as a noun in the dictionary, defined as “…strong affection for another person… maternal love for a child… warm attachment… ” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) Amazing how this tiny word has such impact on the value we place in our relationships; whereas the word is supposed to help connect people it often ends up having the opposite effect. To me it’s incredible love is not classified as a verb because it’s a word that requires action to back up the feelings we often use to describe how we feel. Perhaps that’s a part of what’s lacking…. We’re conditioned to use the word that it’s like breathing, we don’t even think about what we’re saying even if we’re at odds with the word. A world without love is like breathing, if we don’t have oxygen we’ll die.
Although love holds different meanings to people, perhaps it would not be used as a sentimental hyperbole, often carelessly thrown around. There are many different forms of love and although one of the definitions of love in the dictionary states love is a form of affection and feeling many topics on “love and marriage” report love being a choice. So who’s right?
True love requires selflessness. It takes a lot of courage.
Since love has and always will be a word loaded with hidden and heavy meanings, throughout this series we’ll take a look at the five love languages that has become really popular in the recent decades and how it coincides with personality traits. This series will end with how each personality type prefers to be shown love and what it personally means to them in their relationships.